Home PBIS Chart

My daughter's school focuses a lot of PBIS - Positive Behavior and Intervention and Supports. The school asked that we support that at home as well and I hadn't really done much at home so far. AGirl's behavior hasn't been the greatest at home for the last several months and I gave some leeway in the first few months because of all the changes in our lives,. But now it has gotten to a point where I need to impose some rules and discipline.

Last year, I used sticker charts and while that worked for a while, I noticed it stopped working effectively and I figured let me try the PBIS chart at home like she does at school.

I checkout out Pinterest for inspiration and finally settled on one option. I printed out a paper with one table for each color and what it means. I colored it myself with markers (I would not do this again but was out of color printer ink at the time) and laminated it. Found a chip bag clip and use it for clipping up and down to different colors.

She starts at green every day and clips up or down for good or bad behavior. I have noticed some improvement but need to work on it more and set down which rules are expected and which deserve a clip-up.

What I've Been Reading - Jul 7 Edition

Mommy On the Go: 4 Tips for Easy Outings with Kids - Creative Home Keeper - This has some good ideas. Mostly about having 2 diaper bags - one for quick outings and one for longer ones. Also, parking near the cart return area.

9 Times Mint Had No Chill | MintLife Blog - This made me laugh out loud. I've thought those exact same things so many times. Seriously, though, I love mint. It helps keep track of my spending.

How to Choose the Best Over-the-Air Antenna for Free HDTV - We use Sling TV for watching news mostly and have stopped cable or satellite for some time now. But Sling does not have ABC or CW and I do miss watching those channels. One of the options I've been considering is getting an Over-the-air Antenna for getting these channels for free. I will let you know how that goes.

Crying It Out was the best thing I did

Cry It Out or the Ferber method for sleep training a baby is one of the most controversial ones out there. I read about the positive aspects of it and the negative aspects of it. Scientifically, it can't be proven one way or the other.

Both my kids were Ferberized, as it is called. I tried everything else to get them to sleep for more than an hour at a time and eventually got too exhausted and had to try CIO. My older dau
The first few days of sleep training are excruciating. This is what I did -

1. I bought a video baby monitor. The thought of my baby in a room alone with no way for me to see her was too scary for me.
2. Follow a bedtime routine. It doesn't have to be elaborate. With m y older one, I had a long bedtime routine but with my younger one, I didn't have the time.
   1. Long Bath, Lotion, Put on PJs, Read 2-3 books, Sing 3-4 songs, Rock her for 10 mins, then put her in crib and leave the room
   2. Short bath, Lotion, Put on PJs, Sing Songs, Rock her for 1 minute and then put her in crib and leave the room
3. After putting them down, they would scream and cry. Check on them every 2, 5, 10, 15 minutes. I modified this according to how bad the screaming was and the situation.
4. My older daughter ended up sleeping sitting up for the first few days. So did my younger one.
5. After a week, my older daughter had started sleeping through the night. It took my younger daughter longer to sleep through the night, about 10 days - 2 weeks.
6. It took longer to sleep train them for naps but eventually the night training kicked in during the day as well.

At the end of it, I was glad I had done it so we could all get some sleep. I still get only 6 hours of sleep every day and I have a video monitor next to me at night so I can always keep an eye on her.

The hardest part of CIO was listening to them cry all night for so long. And each time I would go to check on them, seeing the tears on their eyes would make me cry. But I had to stay firm and my husband really supported me at that time.

Both my kids slept better and deeper after they had been sleep trained. I don't regret it at all. This may not be appropriate for all kids and I'm not suggesting you do it for your kids but it worked for me and my family. I only did it after I had tried everything else for both kids.

Recent Parenting Articles That Really Struck Me

Why Your Child Should Never Be Forced to Hug a Relative: While the intentions are good, the consequences are pretty bad. As a child, I never felt comfortable being forced to even talk to people and asked to let go of my parents. I can't imagine being forced to kiss or hug somebody when I didn't want to.

8 Things ER Doctors Refuse to Have in Their Homes: Wow, this was pretty eye-opening for me. Things which really surprised me were Ramen Noddle Soups, Old pain pills and High chairs that pull up to the table. I never thought of these are dangerous enough to not keep at home.

How You May Be Ruining Your Child's Love Of Reading: I have been reading to my daughter from the very beginning and she is read to at daycare as well. But recently, as her books have gotten bigger and I'm running low on time, I've been trying to get out of reading after just one book. She wants me to read more and more - I should probably indulge her more and read more books to her.

Gender Inequality

I came across this Indian advertisement for laundry on my Facebook feed and it brought me to tears. It brings home a fact that is so true... Women do a lot more of the housework and childcare than men do. And when a man does do housework, he is greatly appreciated and lauded for that.

My husband and I both work full-time. My husband enjoys cooking more than I do and does majority though not all of the cooking in our house and recently has started doing his own laundry as well. But I still do 95% of the childcare in the house and 95% of the cleaning and my laundry and the kids laundry. I however consider myself better off than a lot of other Indian women - my husband does more work than they do. But it's not equal.

I read this article on the New York Times and according to the article, in India, men spend about 0.9 hours per day on cooking, cleaning and childcare whereas women spend about 5.9 hours per day on the same. Talk about being unbalanced.

What I've Read Recently: Trump, Bedtime Regrets and More

Heidi Klum to Donald Trump: Every Woman Is a “10” :- Recently I've been watching Donald Trump in the news a lot and I've been very put-off by his attitude towards women and his bombastic nature. I loved Heidi Klum's response - that you can't attach a number to a women.

The Post-Bedtime Regret Every Parent Has Felt | Babble: This one is so true - so many days I've been impatient with my daughter and then at bedtime when she's cuddling in my arms and I'm rocking and singing to her, I'm calm and I feel bad - I should have been more gentler and spent more time with her. I should be more patient.

When Life Feels Like a Mess, There’s Something We Can Do: Just read it.

July Goals Update

July was a busy month mostly spent with family and some travel to NYC & NJ. I didn't get a lot done but was still a fun month with spending lots of time with family. My sister and her kids are visiting us for last 3 weeks and it's been great having them here. We did a road trip to NYC and NJ and visited family. It was hectic but fun. We also spent a significant amount of time planning for my daughter's birthday party which was so much fun!

1. Lose 12 lbs: *sigh* This goal has gone completely to pieces. I'm 140 pounds now - I've put on weight since my parents are here visiting me. Over the next 5 months, I'm going to have to try harder to lose weight. 
2. Learn swimming: On hold for now
3. Read 12 books this year:  Got a little more light reading done this month - Read the  "The Heir - Windham Book 1" and "The Perfect Bride for Mr. Darcy". 
4. Do 12 craft or knitting activities this year: Went for a Girls' Afternoon Out with my friends to a graffiti paint bar, which was a fun experience and something I would definitely do again. 
5. Introduce a new experience to AGirl once a month: We went to NYC and NJ and saw the Statue Of Liberty. That was fun! And she had loads of fun playing with her cousins!

Parenting Goals:

1. Potty Training: This has been going well and over the next few days, I'm planning to start pushing it just a bit more. 
2. Teach her to recognize ABCs: Not much progress on this.
3. Drinking milk from a cup: Not much progress on this. 

How has your progress been on your goals?

June Goals Update

June was a fun month for me with travel to Disney and preparing for my parent's visit. They arrived in the 3rd week of July and life has been really busy since. I didn't get a lot done but was still a good month with spending lots of time with family. My husband switched jobs and that's been a change in our routine that we're still adjusting to. I also caught Conjuctivitis and had to wear glasses for a week which gave me massive headaches.

1. Lose 12 lbs: *sigh* I'm still at 136. However, as per my 30-day walking challenge, I'm trying to hit 10k steps. 
2. Learn swimming: Honestly, I'm not sure if I can do this. I'm too nervous about getting my vertigo back again. But l want to do this - so I'm going to try. 
3. Read 12 books this year: Was so busy with Disney trip and preparing for and visiting with family that I didn't read much. I read Family Fun May 2015 magazine and a lot of online reading but that was it. I need to do better this month. 
4. Do 12 craft or knitting activities this year: Lots of time on gardening and not much other than that. 
5. Introduce a new experience to AGirl once a month: DisneyWorld was quite an experience for her and with my parents visiting, she's been a little overwhelmed. So we decided not to do too much this month. 

I'm starting a new section below for my parenting goals. I'm hoping the accountability will inspire me to do more.

Parenting Goals:

1. Potty Training: Been going well. I'm seeing some progress - most days, she goes in the potty in the morning and night when I ask her to. At daycare, she's been peeing more in the potty. While she's still not fully ready yet, she's beginning to get there. 
2. Teach her to recognize ABCs: More progress on this too - I would say she recognizes about half of the alphabet and numbers from 1-10. I've given her foam letters to play with in the bathtub and have been teaching them to her in the bath. 
3. Drinking milk from a cup: Not much progress on this. 

How has your progress been on your goals?

What I've Been Reading Lately

What Happens When Wives Go On Strike :- I've often wanted to do the same thing - just disappear for a couple of days and let my husband handle everything - perhaps he'd appreciate me more... :) ... *sigh* but that's not likely to happen.

Why I Defaulted On My Student Loans :- I read this article and was just so disappointed. I can't believe NYTimes actually published something like this. I'm putting this in here just because I didn't agree with it at all. You take a loan, you repay it. Go to a college you can afford if you can't afford to go to a private school. There was just so much whining and excuses it was unbelievable. The worse thing is that he encourages other people to follow his example.

Motherhood is the strongest bond :- I had tears in my eyes when I read this.

What I've Been Reading Lately

Safest Used Cars Under $10,000 for Teens - Consumer Reports :-The cars listed are Chevrolet Malibu, Ford Focus, Ford Fusion, Hyundai Sonata, Kia Soul, Mazda3, Mazda6i, Toyota RAV4, Volkswagen Jetta, Volkswagen Rabbit/Golf. These are mostly cars made between 2004-2012 and start from $5590.

Love and Wealth are not enough :- This article really got me thinking. I really want my daughter to know I "get" her and love her for who she is and make sure she knows that.

Simple words to live by for busy moms!

I got this in my email from The Abundant Mama and this really touched my heart. Words to live by! It's hard but I think making the effort would be so worth it.

Being a Good Mom

Recently, as my daughter has been getting older, I feel the pressure of being a mom more. When she was an infant, being a good mom mostly meant feed her, clean her, love her for the most part. But as she gets older, apart from the feeding, cleaning & loving, there's also the responsibility of teaching her & exposing her to so many new things in the world.

Nowadays, the pressure is on to take your kids to many classes like dance and music, bake them stuff and introduce them to different kids of foods, teach them discipline & manners & self-control & patience and so much more. Sometimes it all gets too much. It's not so much the pressure to do what others are doing so much as what you put on yourself. You want to be the best mom you can and provide everything to your kids that you can.

So when I read this article on Babble about Good Moms, it really resonated with me. I'm a good mom and I don't have to be perfect or super-mom to be a good mom.

Baby Shower Gift Ideas

I've always found it difficult to buy gifts for a baby shower. I don't know why. I've had a baby, know quite a bit about toys and baby stuff but still it's hard to guess what the other person would like.

Of course, if there's a wish list given before the event with the invitation, that's the best. That way, you know what to get and there's no confusion.

If not, each mother has different needs and likes/dislikes. Some plan to breastfeed, other bottle-feed. Some may want to breastfeed but may not be able to. Some may be very eco-minded, other not-so. Some may have different brands in mind, etc.

Either way, I will be attending a traditional indian baby shower in the new couple of weeks. So I've been searching for some gift ideas. Generally, whenever I give such gifts I like to give some baby clothes and a baby toy or something of the sort. Also, it helps to have a budget in mind before buying a gift. Most of the gifts I list below are below $20. Most of them are also toys which were hits with my daughter.

Here are some gift ideas:

• Clothes: I like to buy at BabiesRUs, Kohl's and Gap/OldNavy. Generally, I tend to buy 3-6 months or 6-9 months, based on what's available in stores and on how the weather is going to be at the time the baby would be that age. 

• Baby Einstein Take Along Tunes: My daughter loved this and I used this a lot especially during diaper changes to distract her. Even now at almost 2, she loves the music on it and plays with it sometimes. Current price on Amazon: $8.09

• Sophie the Giraffe: My daughter loved chewing on Sophie. While she was younger, she mostly just like the squeaking noise but as she grew older and her teeth started popping out, she enjoyed chewing on it. Even now, with her molars coming in, she loves chewing on it. Current Price on Amazon: $20.20

• Lamaze Cloth Book: This was one of the first books I bought for my daughter. She loved chewing on it and lifting the flaps. Current Price on Amazon: $9.99

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  Lamaze Play & Grow Freddie the Firefly Take Along Toy: This was one of my favorite toys for my daughter - I could clip it to her playmat and she would pull on it, chew on it and play with it. I've also used it in the car to distract her on the way to daycare. Current Price on Amazon: $12.39

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  Bright Starts Rattle and Shake Barbell Rattle: My daughter loved this rattle - it was her favorite among all the rattles I had bought for her. It was extremely light and easy for her grasp this from when she was 4-5 months. Current Price on Amazon: $5.10

• Summer Infant SwaddleMe Adjustable Infant Wrap: These were a lifesaver for me. My daughter had a lot of difficulty with sleep and she would move her arms and hit herself and wake up. She was so strong she would kick out of regular swaddle blankets. Once I started using the SwaddleMe wraps, they helped a huge lot and were a timesaver as well and it was so easy to use them. Current Price on Amazon: $16.22 (different prices for different colors)

• Graco Sweet Slumber Sound Machine: I actually received this as an unexpected baby shower gift from a friend. I didn't use it for a long time till I read the book "The Happiest Baby On The Block" where it was suggested to use a sound machine to help the baby sleep better and it actually worked. I still use the sound machine to block out household noise so my daughter doesn't wake up. Current Price on Amazon: $29.98

(This post contains affliate links)

Toddler Favorites

My daughter, who is 22 months old now, is very active and her personality's really coming out now. Her favorite word is "Noooooo!", of course as with all toddlers. 

She's really into reading books right now. She loves bringing me books and saying "Book" and plopping down in my lap. Her favorite nighttime books are currently "Goodnight Moon", "Time to Bed", "Goodnight Gorilla" and the "The Sleepy Little Alphabet". At other times during the day, she loves reading "Bear says Thank You" and "Barnyard Dance". 

Her favorite toys right now are her dolls. She calls them "babies". She loves feeling them du-du (milk) and putting her to sleep on mats (pillow) and covering them with a baby blankie. She also loves playing with her teapot and pouring into cups. 

She loves watching Barney videos and listening to Barney songs. Her favorite songs right now are "Pop goes the weasel", "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", "Five little monkeys", "ABCD..", "I love you, you love me" and "Tap Tap". She likes so many songs it's hard to list them all out but these are her favorites right now. 

(This post contains some affiliate links)

Feeding a Picky Eater

My daughter, who is 22 months old, had a lot of food allergies when she was born. As she grew older, she outgrew a lot of them like milk and soy but still is allergic to anything in the bean family like beans, green beans, lentils.

This has made me very conscious about what I feed her. We are also vegetarians. This narrows down our options for what I feed her a lot and we are Indians as well so our diet is very different from the western diet. She goes to daycare - so what I can give to daycare for lunch and snack has to be daycare-friendly (something she can eat by herself without too much involvement by the teachers, no nuts, etc).

One of the major issues I have hitting with her diet is that she doesn't like any vegetables and she's low on protein. I was reading the article linked below on What To Expect on some tips. Here's what I took away from the article.

Make food fun:- Cut sandwiches into fun shapes (though I first need to get her into sandwiches - so far she's not liked bread much at all). Put blueberry smiles on pancakes or on top of cereal. Interactive food like food with dips where they have to dip and eat might be fun. (I tried this - carrot sticks with ranch dressing. She didn't like it at all). Get toddler involved in meal prep - like getting her to help in picking veggies in the store or letting her choose which healthy food to buy. While cooking, have her do some of the small things like stirring or adding ingredients. Make small portions of food - like mini pancakes or mini muffins.

Sneak in nutrients:- This is where I'm facing a lot of difficulty. Sneak some cauliflower into mac'n'cheese (except she doesn't like mac'n'cheese). Add shredded carrots or sweet potato to pancake batter or omelettes. ( I tried this as her daycare teacher suggested - carrots in omelettes. It worked. ) And fruits are good too - if she likes fruits, let her have them. Her daycare teacher suggested making muffins with veggies and see if that works. She said she'd get me the receipe from her mother.

Be a good model:- Toddlers mimic mom & dad. So we need to eat better, at the table and eat a lot of veggies for dinner. Avoid junk food.

Let them choose:- Let her choose what to eat. Give her 2 healthy options and once she's picked one, stick with it. She'll eat if she's hungry. Don't force your toddler to eat.

Feeding a Picky Eater

Babywearing

I recently bought a sling and 2 front carriers to be able to carry my baby without my arms killing me. My baby wants to be held all the time and I'm not physically capable of that. Add to the fact that she wants only me to hold her and will only calm down for me. While this makes me feel really special, I do need to get some other things done as well.

I tried the sling - didn't work out so well. My daughter hated it - refused to sit in it and she just didn't look comfortable in it. I had the eddie bauer front carrier from before but it seemed too huge for her and there's no head support.

I bought the Infantino Swift Classic Carrier Black and tried it out. She seems ok in it but I'm still not quite sure - I want to wear her around in it some more. She has gone asleep in it a couple of times but I'm not sure if she's comfortable straddling in it.

I've also bought the Beco Baby Butterfly II ORGANIC Carrier In Espresso and am yet to try it out. I'm not sure it will fit me as I'm very short and it doesn't seem to be meant for very short people. 

Questioning myself

I made a big mistake yesterday. I over-reacted and in doing so, caused a big misunderstanding. The fault was completely mine. I've done my best to fix it but the damage has been done. I'm now trying to deal with the guilt of what I did.

I'm trying to get past this - I don't want to stay upset about this and let that affect the baby. But I'm questioning myself - will I be a good mother? If I don't have the maturity to deal with issues and make mistakes like the one I made yesterday, do I have the maturity to be a good mother and teach her the right values and how to deal with life? If I can't be a good friend/wife/daughter/daughter-in-law, how can I teach her to be the same?

I will try to mend my relationships and repair the damage. I also hope that I learn from my mistakes and I will be able to be a good mother.